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What holds us back from living the lives we desire?

Some people say fate has made them successful or not – that their lives are somehow “meant to be” the way they are. Many people don’t like the concept of fate, however, because it denies their free will. But what if neither the traditional concept of fate, nor free will, really existed for most people? There is a third concept, self-fate, that helps explain why so many of us don’t have what we really want.

Self-fate is the idea that because our past is dominating our thought processes, and because most people are not consciously living in the moment (90% of our brain is the subconscious and the unconscious), our past actually creates our future. All those old “rules” we were taught and accepted as true as kids (i.e., “Children are to be seen and not heard”) are affecting us today, and sometimes without us even recognizing it (i.e., “don’t speak up in meetings”). Because we are making choices based on our past experiences, we can’t change our future unless the control of the past is removed, and we choose consciously. So self-fate really means that for most of us, fate does exist, and we don’t have free will. It is us who creates our fate because we are imprisoned by the past. We have pre-determined choices we are programmed to make, and our past does the programming. The great thing about that is that because we programmed ourselves to live with these old rules, we can now consciously reprogram ourselves to live with new rules that serve us better now!

Think about a woman who is unhappy with her relationships and says she seems to meet the same kind of men over and over again. She complains that men are all the same, looking for the same thing. She believes she’s never going to find a relationship that is mutually respectful and serving, as opposed to the relationships she’s had, where she’s been emotionally abused. It’s no wonder she feels this way, as she’s had many experiences that have created those beliefs. In fact, it’s quite normal that she believes what she does, which poses a real challenge – since she sees men as disrespectful, abusive, and manipulating, she is putting out “victim” energy. She is being a victim to the beliefs she has. And what is the result of that? Her victim energy is picked up by other victims as well as men who prey on victims. To them, she’s an easy target. And so, she actually creates her future relationships, and will continue to do so unless she changes her sense of self, or, who she is BEING, in relationships.

The traditional concept of fate proposes that our lives are pre-determined by an outside source. Self-fate, however, is something that we can control. Next week we’ll begin to discuss how we can reprogram our futures so that we achieve our unlimited potential.